I have the attention span of a goldfish.

I want to improve with drawing, learn how to actually draw people, figures, poses, and hot only that, but I want them to be proportionate, to be correct. I have no real desire to become a real artist anymore, I learned long ago that I'm not talented enough nor am I dedicated/motivated/patient enough to sit down and spend several hours on a constant basis learning/improving with what I already know. I will never become good enough to do anything that deserves actual praise, aside from close friends, but I believe that's what friends do. I just want to draw for my own pleasure and enjoyment, because it's something I like to do, I'm just lazy and unmotivated because I have a terrible personality. I don't really like myself at all, and thinking about all of this just makes me drift on to all of the other things I've done and consequently regret doing. :I

I KNOW I've improved a great deal over the past 3ish years that I've been seriously doing all of this, but it's been moving at a ridiculously slow pace, and it's frustrating to me, but it's nobody's fault but my own, so I can't even begin to complain. I've spent the past hour searching for threads/tutorials on conceptart.org and bookmarking them for later reference, but knowing myself I'll never actually get back to them. I have no real interest in reading tutorials that use terms that I honestly just don't understand. I'd rather just amass a large collection of basic figures and people, and just use them as references and whatnot. I have several books detailing how to draw people, and that's great, but I'm not necessarily interested in drawing realistic people. I prefer the simplistic, cartoony stuff people churn out, which I think is one reason as to why I'm so attracted to many of the older "drawhores" and their characters, but not so much their characters as much as how they draw them. The folds on the clothing, the facial expressions, the poses, the hands, the feet, the hair, all of that.

I plan on spending a good week or so in the next month (I'd like to finish school for this semester first so I won't have distractions and I'll be in Puerto Rico from May 8th - 15th) dedicated solely to drawing figures and poses and characters. I'd like to try and move away from Portugal because he seems to be all I draw, for the most part. He is my favorite character by far, and I've been drawing him from the start, but I don't feel like I'm very creative at all, and I don't like that. I would like to learn how to draw his robe/hat better, or just acquire a better grasp on drawing clothes in general, but I'm already doing fairly well regarding that sort of thing thanks to the help offered by Arrested-for-DUI(I am too stupid to know how to link people into these things directly, nor do I think you can, but I'm not sure). Hopefully I'll be updating this with some decent stuff within the next few months, but hell if I know.

I have slacked off on my portrait drawings a great deal, I only got halfway through my first one for March, and haven't even finished it yet. I haven't even started on either of the two for April, and that's depressing. I've been using the portraits I've been doing in Painting class to make up for this, however, but that's simply a shitty fallback plan, and I feel like I'm becoming idle and worthless again. How depressing.

I hated the emoticon for Frustrated, so I went with Not Impressed.